An woman secretly plans to have a child as a 30th anniversery gift for her husband, even though he is ecstatic over their new-found freedom in being retired and, especially, having their older children grown and out of the house; Julie sneakily sets Honey Bee, an old high school friend who always tried to steal her boyfriends, after Gopher (newly smitten with a girl ashore) so that she can concentrate on a handsome new officer; Captain Stubbing wears his hat everywhere in an attempt to keep an old high school flame from finding out he is bald, and she thinks he has a full head of hair because she saw him hatless when he was wearing a toupe for a shipboard costume party.

A young girl who's infatuated with Gopher pretends to be her older sister. An artist meets a unhappily married guy. And the ship's comic runs into the wife and daughter he left years ago.

Doc's nephew is making a move on his girlfriend. A psychiatrist, who is on vacation is followed by four of his patients. An actor pursues the writer of a soap opera, who rejected for a role on her show.

On this Thanksgiving cruise, a father and his adopted son try to evade the boys biological father by escaping to Mexico; an older couple plan to travel with their daughter and her fiance who, unknown to them, is crippled; the smooth operation of the ship suffers as one by one the entire crew, after trading a bevy of insults, ends up not speaking with one another.

On this Valentine's Day cruise, a singing valentine ""pussycat"" falls for a stuck-up guy who has just been dumped by his girlfriend; the owner of a secretarial agency plays secretary to a writer taking a working vacation, even though he is far better at romancing her than he is at taking dictation and typing up her notes; a womanizing pro football player falls for a snooty, straight-laced college English professor.

A desperate 23-year old virgin wants to spend the night with a handsome fellow she meets on board, but in the end decides she will hold off until the time is right; a bratty adopted teenager finds out that the assistant bartender that he has been harassing is actually his long lost older brother; the entire crew chips in to help April get ready to take her U.S. citizenship test despite her severe test anxiety.